“If you can keep it…”
On Politics and Politeness
As I suggested in my first entry, my goal is to engage the topic of politics with the help of its often overlooked sibling: politeness. As such, I’ll be frequently referring to Mr. Samuel R. Wells’ 1875 classic, “How To Behave: A Pocket Manual of Republican Etiquette, and Guide to Correct Personal Habits”. Now I would never go so far as to say that Mr. Wells is a perfect authority on such matters; in fact, I’m sure he wouldn’t say so either. But the book is full of good advice, in my estimation, and I find it charming.
“This is an honest and earnest little book, if it has no other merit; and has been prepared expressly for the use of the young people of our great Republic, whom it is designed to aid in becoming, what we are convinced they all desire to be, true American ladies and gentlemen.”
As I also suggested on the outset, a movement is on the rise here. Maturity is coming into vogue in an impressive way. Young men are reading Marcus Aurelius and calling themselves ‘stoic’. Young ladies (or at least the religious ones) are glorifying marriage and chastity, and the term “tradwife” has flooded social media. There are “gentlemen’s guilds” and podcasts on manliness. To put it simply, “Tradition” has become a buzzword, and the idea that tradition could ever be separated from etiquette is historically dishonest.
There is, of course, the question of “why?”. What is it, in particular, that has led to this boom of sophistication? And though I can’t answer with certainty, I have my suspicions.
Given the age of the book in focus, one might compare our time to the post-Civil War era. Now I won’t pretend to suggest that the Reconstruction Period is perfectly comparable to the present age. Though a few similarities exist: an economy based on fiat currency, war debts being paid off by those who never wanted a war, and rampant disparities regarding immigration and race, to name a few. True enough, we are not fresh out of a civil war; but what about the century of near constant warfare in which most of us were born (and still remember)? And what of the most recent war on terror? And what of the drug war? What of the countless recessions, and the Great Depression itself? Most of us can’t remember a time without some form of economic or political crisis. I certainly can’t. As always follows times of great moral suffering, there are cultural explosions in a few areas.
First, there is a fatherlessness crisis. In the wake of the Civil War, there was no doubt a shortage of men to raise and train their children. More modern estimates put the number of men killed nationwide (north and south) around 750,000. Many would have been young men and teenagers, with some still being children. But many were husbands, fathers, and even grandfathers. What’s worse, as with any war, many of the survivors were scarred and broken men, struggling with addictions and memories that never left them. The generations left in the wake of that awful war undoubtedly felt these effects. And as any passive observer of the modern landscape can see, fatherlessness is in resurgence today. The website of the National Fatherhood Initiative records, “According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 17.8 million children, nearly 1 in 4, live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home.”1
Second, there is the issue of financial instability. After a war, especially a war as devastating as a civil war, the nation naturally reaches an economic slump. During the war, scholars suggest that the industrial northern economy actually grew as industries met the war demand2. Taxes were higher in the north than in the south, and nearly two thirds of the war funding was obtained through borrowing (mostly in the form of war bonds)3. These bonds were eventually paid back by the taxpayer - taxpayers who were young children during the war, and whose families were torn apart by the war effort. Even so, the northern economy was simply more efficient, and rebounded from the war far better than the losers. Especially in the south, widespread economic hardship was the only result. This was no seasonal economic recession; this was total infrastructure collapse4. And every family in its wake suffered for it. Though not truly comparable to the Southern Reconstruction Period, we are experiencing an undeniable economy of strain. The current stress over worker wages and the housing market (not to mention the so-called ‘energy crisis’) has produced an environment of tension, not just for families, but on the single populace, too. And just like in every period of tension, those affected must find ways to cope with their fears. In the modern day, technology has provided a historically unprecedented avenue of stress relief. Social media and the pornographic subculture embedded in it have had a staggering impact on the culture at large. Though always a part of society, its influence has been far more prevalent with the advances of modern media. There has been perhaps no greater corrupting force on the modern man (and woman) than this.
Third, while debate regarding how popular rule should be conducted has never truly fallen out of the conversation, it has come to a head in recent years. Just as an example, the phrase ‘philosophical anarchism’ was a laughable suggestion even two decades ago. Few, if any, would have called themselves thus. Yet in the modern day, such peripheral voices have risen to a near fever-pitch across the mainstream. In another pitch entirely, their opponents (big-government proponents of all stripes) scream right back. This is not all that different than the events that led up to the outbreak of that awful 19th century conflict. Northern representatives tended to call for the flourish of a united republic (often excluding immigrants). Southern representatives cried out for states rights and democracy (for a few lighter-skinned folks anyway). These bickering voices could only grow so loud of course, and to get louder, one needed cannons. Now look to the modern day. How long can American dialogue be littered with rage (and inconsistency) before there is only one road left for us?
Fourth (and I’ll say finally), I feel compelled to mention the power of romanticism. This may seem like a strange observation but the lore of tradition has had a substantial impact on men and women alike. Why else are men reading classical literature and self-identifying themselves with stoicism? Why else are families investing in self-sufficiency and home gardens? Why else are the “old ways” back in vogue? This recent response is tremendously comparable to the post-war era. People after the Civil War romanticized a lost age of high culture and aesthetic beauty; such voices still exist today, in fact! Ah, the beauty of the old south! (Nevermind the countless black faces in chains). Even the monarchy of England had abolished slavery before America. It’s a stain on our history, and sadly glossed over by those who look back with rose-colored glasses. The illusion of the ‘good old days’ haunts the modern generation even now. Philosophy is the word of the day, with both Greek and Latin culture lounging in the cloudless heaven of the modern imagination. Yet how readily have we forgotten the brutality of the arena, the slavery, the dictatorships, and the child abuse? Romanticism also comes in a number of forms. It is easy to romanticize the anarchic farm life when you have never raised your own grain or slaughtered a chicken. If our only image of the independent rural world looks like AI-generated cottagecore art (you know who you are), then we have missed the memo.
I am interested in reality. I am also interested in practical solutions to real-life political problems. Solutions like that cannot be generated by a single man in an echo chamber. Not by me, and certainly not by a single man with the full force of a military behind his decisions. Shaping the future requires conversation between people of every ideological background. Here is where politics meets politeness. Without courtesy - without etiquette - dialogue breaks down; and with it, society.
I am a father of three children. They, and their whole generation, will inherit whatever nation we leave them. I want to live in a civilized age, with civilized dialogue. I dream of leaving them a world (or at the very least, a community) worth inheriting. And if they come to ask us what sort of nation we have left, we should be able to answer, as the founders, “a republic; if you can keep it.”
Thanks for joining me! For the Republic is my latest project exploring the distinctives of republican philosophy. This installment is a part of my series called “Polite Society”, where I’m expanding on the idea of ‘republican etiquette’ and American manners.
You can browse our navigation page here, and start back at our first article here. If you have any input or suggestions, comment below, and if you’d like to collaborate with this project, let’s talk!
And, as always, “For the Republic!”
https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic
https://www.nps.gov/articles/industry-and-economy-during-the-civil-war.htm#:~:text=The%20Union's%20industrial%20and%20economic,mobilization%20of%20resources%20more%20difficult.
https://www.occ.gov/about/who-we-are/history/founding-occ-national-bank-system/lincoln-and-the-founding-of-the-national-banking-system.html#:~:text=To%20meet%20the%20government's%20financial,so%2Dcalled%20%22Greenbacks.%22
https://study.com/academy/lesson/how-the-civil-war-affected-the-economy-and-everyday-life-in-the-north-and-south.html#:~:text=The%20South%2C%20on%20the%20other,of%20poverty%20and%20social%20unrest.